If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
