Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
It's just like the Real World with babies
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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