Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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