There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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