dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Randomize
