i barfeds in our rink
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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