i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
