I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
