WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Randomize
