in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
