what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize
