:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
