he thought i was a dude.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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