Tell her she can't have a vagina
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Randomize