that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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