I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
