that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
