You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
