Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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