pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Sex in the backyard? Check.
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