Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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