Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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