i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Randomize
