What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
