And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize