i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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