well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
