Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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