i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize