So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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