I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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