so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Someone signed my nipple.
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