i permit you to call me
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Randomize
