You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
