At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
The beers last night were like the tears from god
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Randomize
