It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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