I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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