I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Randomize
