She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize