i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
