so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
