sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
