oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
