his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
