he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I think a kid would responsible me up
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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