how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Randomize
