ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
