found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I am spending my child support on dildos
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
