I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
