I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
