I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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