someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
