We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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