he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
