At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
porn star boner night. come get it.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
