Dual....:-)
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
