Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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