I will die if light touches me.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Randomize
