I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
