well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
So gin and wine won't be happening again
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Randomize
