You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
