The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
